The Hegemonic Headings

"Punished for their own choices"

By Arushi Bhaskar, Indian Express

While I can understand the pressure behind the creation of catchy headings having myself been into the industry of content creation I cannot help but to point out that except for the fact that both the murders have happened all the rest are nothing but a narrative of most erring.

But what were the choices?

The choices of Ayushi Yadav

Ayushi Yadav, 21, a girl in her graduation years falls in love with a classmate and decides for a clandestine marriage in Arya Samaj and returns home and spends a whole year at her parent’s house, meeting the boy in public places then returning again to the parent’s house and doing it over throughout the year all the while expecting the parents to approve the marriage and do what ? Keep them both at their house ? Or send them off to the boy’s house ?

A surreptitious marriage, was that all that the choice entails?

What about the boy?

Doesn’t he have something to contribute to the choice? He married her after all. What was the plan after that ? Doesn’t seem like they have thought this through so the best can be done is to put the blame on those who have to put up with these blunders while sheltering and coaxing for a reconsideration towards the choices.

The Choices of Shradhha Walkar

The next choice of the story is of Shradhha Walkar whose choice was even more interesting. This choice involves Bumble (the dating app if you don’t know already), going on dates with complete strangers, getting to know them more and expecting them not to turn out as psychopaths. Then within less than a year deciding to say “till death do us part” to each other. Then enters the villainous papa not letting the simran to live her zindgi so simran decides to live-in instead, without letting the papa know.

Simran does so accordingly but along with papa she also decides not to let anyone she remotely connected with know anything about her whereabouts. And in this way she got disconnected with the evil father and the brother and the friends and everyone she knew. Not knowing she does it all for an Indian Jeffery Dahmer she thought (and choices should definitely be made on thoughts and uncertainties) was worth sacrificing for.

And that was her choice.

Estimation of Both the Choices

And for both of the well thought-out choices and the subsequent consequences you should blame family and society and heavy words and phrases such as fear of death just for making it impactful.

The Infamous Arc of Estrangement

Pointing out estrangement on part of Walkar’s family, she went on using the word estrangement without the context. In 2019 Shradhha faced massive opposition towards her relationship with Aftab Poonawala from both her parents but papa was the frontman. In 2020 Walkar’s mother died but the opposition persisted on part of papa for which she made her choice for cutting the ties from him. It wasn’t the father , it was her choice. In fact the father was the one who filled the complaint against Poonawala after failing to meet his daughter for months. How was that for an estrangement ? 

 

The     Much Needed Verdict 

My whole point of argument is not to justify the murders but to sham the narrative that says women being punished for making choices of their own. The choices involved in both the cases is what led to the tragic end and it was only because  they were faulty.

It is the fault of their faulty choices which led to the drastic  results. 

Not everytime should the societal or "i did  for the honour of family" arc  be brought to the case, especially not when the entire nation  is privy to the details of the stories. 

Not only the narrative gives an erroneous arc to the poor judgement of the young women in moments of emotional weakness but it also encourages the susceptible young women to commit the same mistakes while outrageously expecting for a different outcome.

Instead of looking for a scapegoat, for once see the things for what they are and say it out loud, against the choices which, time and again, are being proved fatal to these yong and impressionable women. 

What Arushi Bhaskar wrote in her eye catching piece of writing is to take a sensitive incident of current time and give it a fictitious narrative with the "never failing formula of women's suffering in the society" not understanding the extent of disrespect she shows to the women who actually suffers from these discrimination and injustice. But most importantly, derailing the young women from the right path of choice making and misleading them into thinking any choice, however absurd and impractical is count as choice for which they should be supported and encouraged by family, society and every other opposing factors. If that's not the case, the consequences, however brought will most evidently be pinned on the opposing forces and they and their choices are impeccable.