The Silence Has No Effect on Me

I know it is not usual for you to hear from me so soon. 

Twice in a week? 

I must be on fire.

But lately, nothing seems to keep me engaged for longer than an hour, and my thoughts drift quickly from one thing to another.

When it comes to my thoughts and the endless debates that go on in my mind without resolution, I tend to write in search of clarity.

Recently, I realised something about myself: I can go for days without talking to anyone and remain completely unbothered.

What surprised me wasn't that I could go days without talking because I have done that for years. What surprised me was realising how little it affected me.

At first, the silence was meant to teach someone a lesson. The problem was that it had no effect on me.

I have spent nearly half of my life on my own. I come from a family where both my parents held respectable positions in their respective fields, and naturally, their work demanded much of their time. On top of that, I have been dealing with health issues for quite a few years, and that kept me indoors for my own good. 

That being said, spending six to seven hours alone at home, six days a week, for years made silence and solitude my closest companions.

Seriously, situations like this slowly transform your entire personality without you even realising it.

When I think back to the early days, I remember finding it bothersome. 

But when you have little control over what happens, you are not left with many options other than acceptance.

Over time, what began as something I merely tolerated became something I grew comfortable with. Somewhere along the way, solitude stopped feeling like a circumstance and started feeling like a natural state of being.

Solitude had another effect on me: it made me less expressive verbally.

I mean, I don't have any trouble with communication, but I can quickly switch from being communicative to completely withdrawn. 

Years of solitude may well have affected my communication, but I compensated by having long conversations with myself in my head.

Well, that's the only reasonable thing you can do in an empty house lest the neighbours take it otherwise.

To combat my situation and prevent myself from going insane, I have developed a knack for expressing myself in writing. 

So this made me a bit taciturn in conversations. 

And if the person involved has nothing to say, then I, too, have nothing to contribute.

Well, that usually leaves us sitting in awkward silence.

So you get what my point is. 

Silence as a punishment will not work for me.

I am too experienced and too comfortable with it. 

Before I go there's a completely out-of-the-context thought I have been carrying lately.

Just because you hold a rock-solid belief doesn't mean every other perspective must be dismissed. Try to be tolerant of beliefs that differ from your own. What seems obvious to you today may be something others are still discovering and understanding.

Read more, The World I Came to Know