The Awkward Silence I am Not Obliged To Kill

Silence is a versatile word. 

Its versatility lies in its implications for a number of things.

For instance, Silence is the best policy! 

Implying putting a restraining order on your tongue to avoid giving unnecessary verbal responses. 

Or giving someone the silent treatment, 

implying the silent protest without indulging in ugly arguments. 

Or the silent observation, 

implying discretion while you examine something.  

Be it as it may, the connotation associated with the word silence is multifaceted. 

But the point of discussion here is none of the aforementioned connotations of silence.

So, what is it?

The Awkward Situation 

Have you ever been in a situation where you meet someone - be it an acquaintance or an old classmate or even a distant relative - and since you and the person have lost contact with each other for years, you both have nothing to talk about after the usual greeting?

Me too! 

(I am assuming most of you have nodded their heads in agreement with the question)

So, this is the response of mine as well.

So what do you do?

Let me tell you first what I used to do.

I give in to the situation.

And as soon as that happens I start yakking.

Talk .. talk.. talk ... 

By following so many rules.

Only for the person involved to not get bored. 

But wait, mindless , aimless talking is still fine but don't talk about anything that he might take offense to. 

Okay, now you can go on. 

Wait wait wait ... 

While you blab to him make sure you don't blab much so as to give out details of your personal life. 

Wait wait wait...

And also don't blab anything for which you have to give proof afterwards. 

You know when panic talks had you lying about something you never had or did?

But now that you have lied only to kill the compelling silence, they're after you asking,

Chal dikha, chal milwa, little did they know ki dikhwane aur milwane jaisa kuch hai hi nahi mere pass.

Been There, Done That

To be honest, I have even lied about things and facts about someone. 

This was only to wade of that awkward silence which makes me say things.

Consequently, I got myself literally into a broil with the person I have lied about. 

That wasn't intentional but just to kill the intense silence which sets in between people who have nothing to talk about. 

What I did wasn't right. 

In fact that incident and some other awful and forceful experiences of my life made me realize, I really don't have to embarrass myself this way.

I literally was embarrassing myself.

The efforts I would exert in cooking up the stories or the forceful topics I would broach would hardly be acknowledged by the other party.

So this leaves me questioning, Do I really have to do this? 

Can't they see it is artificial?

If yes then why aren't they joining in?

The whole situation is as awkward to them as it is to me, so why should I make all the effort? 

After the general queries about how have you been? 

Long time no see and another couple of pre-recorded questions.

Then begins the Sham Show which I will be hosting.

Why Should I?

I'm not bitter about it, really.

I'm not bitter about making efforts to make a few hours comfortable for the other person. 

What I am bitter about is the rudeness of the other person by their sheer non-cooperation in the whole situation.

I have witnessed this for almost two decades of my life.

Of being the only entertainer in shows such as the one I have mentioned. 

This again brings me to say the same thing, if the situation was uncomfortable for me then it was equally uncomfortable for them as well. 

So shouldn't they be thinking about making me feel comfortable? 

But skip the formality, there comes nothing. 

So why should I be the one to kill the silence?

Have I signed somewhere that I would put myself through this situation?

Am I under any obligation to entertain them?

Do they think they are entitled to have someone perform such a fun show for them?

Do they think that I have a  great time entertaining "Them Majesty"?

Extractor of Information 

Through my experience, I have also understood that this is used by a few as a great tactic to extract information from you.

I'll tell you how. 

It's actually their complete understanding of you. 

As they are familiar with your failing attempts at breaking the ice, they take it to their advantage.

And with time they successfully maneuver it against you. 

They know if they come to you, you'll talk non stoppingly. 

And it is during this pace that you'll also say something to their benefit. 

Benefit as in something catering to their nosy nature in knowing your internal affairs. 

It Takes Two To Play The Game

The thing is that this game is played by both the players involved. 

But when the other player doesn't play it, you might as well just stop playing it too.

And that's what I did. 

Not all at once but at my own pace.

 From trimming the conversation to no conversation. 

And the no conversation thing is a hundred times more comfortable, than those pathetic attempts of killing the silence. 

Setting The Records Clear

I set it clear. 

There can only be a two-way conversation. 

I can't only be the one to ask questions, make jokes, talk anecdotes, and so on and so forth.

You might as well contribute to my entertainment of mine as well, else there will be some other connotation of silence which I'll be implying. 

This applies not only to the meets but also to the occasional telephonic conversation as well. 

Don't expect a call duration of 30+ mins will only constitute me talking and asking questions, making suggestions, and all other things.

You might as well just contribute or there will be nothing but a nasty awkward silence which I will not be obliged to kill. 

Because at this point of my life.

I'd rather embrace the awkward silence than having to kill it.