For the past few days, I have been very indecisive about it.
Whether I should say this or not. There is literally nothing to hide, but I see now how it works.
Things you don't say are assumed to be a hidden fact about you.
But why do I take the trouble of saying it when it's clearly visible?
Well, maybe I owe it to those with whom I correspond or perhaps those with whom I communicate only through texts.
Honestly, it's nothing uncomfortable, nor do I avoid talking about it.
It's just that I give it as much attention as it deserves and completely forbid it from overstaying in the limelight.
This is because I have my life to lead and work to do.
And I have absolutely no patience to let this one aspect of my life take up more space than it deserves.
Although it has been a part of my life and existence for as long as I care to admit, it still hasn't been everything that I care about in my life.
It has, however, affected how I navigate life. It makes me somewhat unconventional, and the ways that are available to me are often difficult.
Yet somehow I have made my way through life.
But honestly, this is not something that I haven't hinted at before.
Trust me, I have left many easter eggs in every place possible for you, and you might already have an impression of it if you have been reading carefully.
But even if you don't, that's okay.
Lately, I have been watching many of my peers speak openly about similar challenges, and it has made me pause and wonder why I have never felt the need to speak about my own in quite the same way.
So, here we go: I'm a person with a disability.
I have frequently mentioned being disadvantaged, but I never felt the need to go and discuss it any further simply because I never saw a reason to.
My disability is a fact about my life; it isn't my life.
Despite the limitations my disability has brought into my life, I have achieved considerable success.
And when I get the chance to represent myself, I prefer showcasing what I thrive rather than what I strive.
This is mainly because I want people to know me for all the things I am rather than reducing me to the one thing that makes my life different.
One thing I have learnt about struggle is that it isn't exclusive.
Everyone struggles.
I witness everyone in my surroundings struggling to get through life. It may be different in kind, but the effects it has on an individual are the same.
My struggle is a bit different compared to yours, but that doesn't make mine superior in intensity to someone who is going through pain or suffering for some personal loss.
Or grieving, or loneliness, or failures. Or finding it hard to make ends meet.
It's just challenging.
But that's what life is.
Nothing comes easy.
My decision to remain taciturn about what poses challenges in my life is not because I'm embarrassed or want to hide.
Or because I live in a state of denial.
It is simply because it is my own struggle to deal with.
And how I dealt with it is something I chose to keep strictly to myself.
I don't expect people to fully understand my everyday struggle.
Honestly, they can't.
The feeling of being incapacitated is only understood through lived experience.
They can sympathize with me, but pity is the last thing I need that I can put to any use.
Therefore, my disability is something I hold very close to myself.
Life is not easy, but I'm not the only one to feel it.
Difficulties and struggles are part and parcel of life.
It will continue to exist, so should I.
Despite the challenges, I will continue to find my own path through life, not to win but to participate.
One will never understand what it takes for me to show up with a disability, but then again, it is not for them to understand either.
Read more The Possession of a Preoccupied Mind
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